When You're Latino But Your Spanish Isn't Great
I am a first generation Mexicana on my dad's side, third on my mom's side. I spoke Spanish at home until I started school...but then it was English 24/7. Even at home, because my dad wanted to "practice" his English.
I wish I was fluent, but in reality, I have the vocabulary of a 5 year old. And my accent, well...
My dad and his entire enormous familia are from Zacatecas, Mexico. My mom's dad was born in Texas grew up in Mexico City and the settled in East LA with my grandma.
So I've got Zacatecas fam, Mexico City fam, East LA fam, even some Cuban fam...AND THEY ALL HAVE VERY UNIQUE ACCENTS.
My accent is a mixture of all of those. Plus, my lengua is hella rusty from only speaking it on holidays and (rare) vacations. Suffice to say, everyone thinks my accent is weird.
I want to practice more, but I get embarrassed when I pronounce something wrong or use the wrong word (or have to use sign language because I can't remember the word).
Family and strangers alike judge you, sometimes out loud, sometimes silently, but it makes you feel like sh*t either way.
So hey, be kind to those of us who struggle with our Spanish, encourage us to keep trying. Morena o blanca, English, Spanish, or Spanglish, we're still Latinos - AND PROUD!