Christian Activist Plans To Sue NFL Because Shakira & JLo Put Him "In Danger of Hellfire"
Apparently, JLo and Shakira have endangered his immortal soul.
Radical Christian activist Dave Daubenmire is threatening to sue the NFL, Pepsi, his local cable company, and anybody else he can think of for "$867 trillion" for preventing him "from getting into the kingdom of heaven."
Dave Daubenmire is hoping to sue the NFL over the Super Bowl halftime show because "viewing what you put on that screen put me in danger of hellfire." https://t.co/VMewUcyJO0 pic.twitter.com/0YD33SjXYL— Right Wing Watch (@RightWingWatch) February 4, 2020
"I tuned in to watch a football game. I didn't tune in to watch a porn show," says Daubenmire in a video he posted to Facebook asking for a lawyer to help him sue for "pornography" and "contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
"Would that halftime show, would that have been rated PG? Were there any warnings that your 12-year-old son—whose hormones are just starting to operate – was there any warning that what he was going to see might cause him to get sexually excited?" Daubenmire ranted on his podcast, "Pass The Salt."
(Daubenmire's actual son, 29-year-old Zachary Daubenmire, was convicted of possession of child porn in 2007.)
His rant continued, contending that the halftime show, by which he ostensibly means Shakira's hip-shaking and ululation, JLo's acrobatics, and perhaps their very Latin-ness, the kids in cages, even the Puerto Rican flag, but especially all the "crotch shots," put him "in danger of hellfire."
"Viewing what you put on that screen put me in danger of hellfire... You just brought [porn] into my living room. You didn’t tell me there were gonna be crotch shots! That’s discriminatory against the value I have in my house. You can’t just do that. I wanna sue them for about $867 trillion."
Though, it's confusing how much he seems to know about the halftime show, considering he said he turned it off because he didn't want to "let that spirit in my house."
You can watch (or re-watch) the full performance, which has become the most watched, most liked halftime show of all time on Youtube, below.