Mi Abuelita Gave Me Her Opinión On These Dating Profiles...
My abuela has always been curious about my love life. It’s like a Latina thing. All your family members – ESPECIALLY THE WOMEN – think your love life is public domain. I made an account on this Latino dating app called, “Chispa.” The moment I started swiping, I found some very interesting options. I have a cool abuela. She’s a bit old school, but has the sweetest soul ever. I figured her opinion could help me find the one. This is what she said about my potential candidates:
What my abuela said about Alex:
¡AY mira! Le gustan los perros! That is always a good thing. You can trust him. And look how happy the dog looks. That means he will be a great dad for your kids! His clothes are clean! He has a dog and HIS CLOTHES ARE CLEAN!
Abuela’s Verdict: Of course! If you go out with him, yo les cuido al perro.
What my abuela said about Miguel:
Ándale! Those arms!!! Do you think he can carry us both with them? He’s muuuy guapo! But that tattoo on the shoulder. I don’t like it.
Verdict: Yes of course, bring him to dinner anytime. Just ask him to wear a shirt con mangas. I don’t want to see that shoulder tattoo de cerca.
What my abuela said about Victor:
Uff, arms again! Arms without tattoos. I think we have a WINNER! And he can cook! What is he cooking? Is that ribs and chicken? Why is he wearing gloves? I don’t wear gloves when I cook…
Verdict: Yes, a strong man that can cook is always welcomed in this family.
My Final Thoughts:
So, basically my abuela has a thing for arms and beards…which, is weird, because my abuelo has neither. Hmm?
EXCERPT: "We Are Mitu"